5 Late Night Snacks You MUST Try Before You're Shot In The Head And Killed, You Mindless Zombie Bastard
You know you shouldn't do it, but some nights you just can't resist. That late-night craving is just too much! So what should you be grabbing when you're out and about, nothing's open, and you're a mindless, soulless zombie? Here are my top 5 suggestions!
1. The Earl of Sandwich Holiday Turkey Sandwich
Just because you're a zombie doesn't mean you've got to stick to brains. Your life, if you can call it that, will be short and meaningless unless you get one of these bad boys in you. I'm talking warm deli turkey, cornbread stuffing, cranberry sauce, gravy and fresh toasted bread! While your fellow zombies are putting themselves at risk of decapitation or being gunned down by the last survivors of humankind, you'll be hitting up the nice and safe Earl of Sandwich. Just make sure you get there before they close at midnight!
2. The Earl of Sandwich Holiday Turkey Sandwich
Once you become a zombie, your hunger becomes uncontrollable, but that doesn't mean your taste has to go out the window. Brains are mushy and gross and don't hold a candle to the perfect sweet-salty concoction that the folks at Earl of Sandwich have been able to come up with. Much like when you were a human, you're not going to want to stop after just one. Make sure you get a second Holiday Turkey Sandwich once you've managed to slowly shuffle down the abandoned freeways all the way to Anaheim.
3. Obviously, A Third Earl of Sandwich Holiday Turkey Sandwich
Did you really think I'd make a list without including the Earl of Sandwich Holiday Turkey Sandwich at least 3 times? Once you taste one of these, you'll be stuck at Earl of Sandwich eating these for the rest of your short life. I'll tell you right now, the next item on the list is going to just be another Holiday Turkey Sandwich because it is just that good! Can you even taste? It doesn't matter, because deep down, you will understand that what you're eating is the best meal ever invented.
4. Like I Said, Keep Eating Earl of Sandwich Holiday Turkey Sandwiches
As a zombie, your stomach might not even work. That food you eat could just be falling right out of the hole in your stomach and you would never have to ever stop eating Holiday Turkey sandwiches! In fact, you might be able to eat the same one over and over again, but it might not be as good. I'm not recommending the same Holiday Turkey sandwich more than once, but it's an option and boy, are your options ever limited!
5. Minhdzuy's Holiday Turkey Sandwich-filled Corpse
That's right, zombies. No matter how many Earl of Sandwich Holiday Turkey sandwiches you find, my body is probably filled with at least 100 times more that. I'm less human than Holiday Turkey Sandwich at this point. Finding me means you have the added benefit of Holiday Turkey Sandwiches as well as brains. Good luck catching me, though. Chances are, I will shoot you in the head and kill you, you mindless zombie bastard!
