How To Have More Meaningful Conversations Without Bringing Up 9/11
Conversations. We have them all the time with our friends, co-workers, and even strangers. Sometimes, you can walk away from a conversation feeling completely and entirely satisfied and other times, you might walk away wondering what might have prompted you to bring up the 9/11 terrorist attacks on the United States. Sound familiar? Today, I’ll be sharing my tips on how to maximize meaningful conversations and minimize meaningless small talk about terrorism.
1. Make Eye Contact
Making eye contact is key to letting your conversation partner know that you are engaged and present. If you are looking around the room for information to add to the conversation, you are not really there with them. All you need to know is in their eyes, as they will be letting you know how they feel. You’ll probably see a sharp distinction between when they finish telling you that story about their dog and when you start telling them about how the principal walked into your classroom on the verge of tears, barely able to compose himself. It was the first time you had ever seen him like that. He was such a strong man. What could have possibly shaken him like that?
2. Don't Be Afraid To Share Your Opinions
You are in a conversation because you have your own independent thoughts. Nobody wants to hear you parrot back someone else’s opinion, and you should never believe that your thoughts don’t matter. Of course, the one exception is if you’re planning to share your thoughts on how we should’ve seen 9/11 happening. It was a tragedy that we will never forget, but you cannot continue to constantly tell people about it every single day of your life. When a person reaches this level of obsession, people begin to wonder if there’s something really wrong with them.
3. Listen To Their Point Of View, Not To Your Next Thought
Conversations fail when people stop responding to each other and start to just take turns sharing differing opinions. You cannot live in your head if you expect to get something out of this conversation. Remember, each useful part of a conversation is a reaction to whatever was just said. This is especially true for you, since your next thought is usually an exasperated oath to exact revenge on Osama Bin Laden. I don’t even understand this one because you continue to do it years after Bin Laden’s death. Seriously, what is your deal?
4. Add Value To The Conversation
Before you let everyone know how vividly you recall watching the footage of Tower 2 going down over and over again in your living room as your mother frantically makes calls in the other room, ask yourself if that is adding value to the conversation you’re currently having right now. Did the person you’re talking to even tangentially mention New York, airplanes, or the month of September? Even if the answer is yes, I can already tell you that you shouldn’t say anything about 9/11. Not to anyone. Not for a while.
5. Don't Bring Up 9/11
Nothing kills a conversation faster than going into explicit detail about how you cried and vomited on your living room floor as you thought about all the lives that were lost that day and all the lives that would forever be changed as a result. This tip might be a tough one for you, but it is by far the most important one. You’ve already been labeled as “That person who won’t stop talking about 9/11,” so why not go ahead and prove everyone wrong! You’re not a weirdo. Right? I’m vouching for you, so don’t screw this up.
