5 Ways To Let One Of Your Hostages Know You Love Them

Expressing yourself can be hard, especially when that cutie crush of yours keeps glaring at you from behind that blindfold, but there are a few simple gestures that can go a long way towards telling your captive victim that you really care and admire them more than the rest of the hostages. Try one of these small tokens to show them that you can be their special someone.

1. Threaten Them Slightly More Than The Other Hostages

All anyone really wants is a little bit of extra attention, and believe me, when you jam the barrel of your gun directly into your crush's mouth, they are going to know that you really see them. After all, what is love if not really taking the time to see somebody else?

2. Don't Let Them Use The Restroom

If you let every other hostage use the restroom, they are going to accuse you of singling them out. This is exactly what you want! You can't play games and live in a nebulous, ambiguous space. You must let them know that you are there for them and for them alone and this is the most direct signal you can send to them. Bonus: They probably already peed themselves when you shoved that gun in their mouth, and this will show them that you remember your moments together. You're totally in!

3. Just Tell Them How You Feel

Honesty is one of the purest signs of love, and you have to let your potential partner know that you enjoy the thrill of the criminal life. Expressing your true feelings will let them know that you are willing to be open, and trust me, they'd rather date a criminal true to themselves then a billionaire who can't be authentic around them. So share your feelings about the heist as it's happening. They will appreciate it for sure.

4. Ask Them About Their Day

Pay attention, because this one is important! Relationships aren't just about you, you, you! There are two people in this and you're going to have to listen to what this person is going through. It's pretty likely that they're going to complain about how they've been taken hostage and you're going to want to fix the problem, but that's not what they want. All they want is to be heard, so make sure you're really listening as they spit and curse at you and tell you that you're ruining their lives.

5. If You Love Them, Let Them Go

Not all relationships are meant to last, and if your crush wants to leave and never look at you again because the very sight of your face reminds them of the traumatic experience they had in which you invaded their place of work and robbed them at gunpoint, then you must respect that decision. If you truly love this person, then you must allow them to recover from the memory of you and how you destroyed any sense of security they had ever felt.